Gollum and Lidfoul the ugly
by omnipotent char-lessar
Summary: Gollum finds his true love in a creature no one else desires (thanks omnipotent genghis khan sammid)
1. Default Chapter

Gollum Romance  
  
(a/n) yeah, this is an interesting little gollum romance. The first one of its kind (I am told). Anyways, it happens somewhere after the whole ring thing, but gollum (obviously) didn't die. And Drintuh is some place in Middle earth that I had to make up to serve the story. I don't know what the "people" are, but apparently they are around 4 feet tall and they get married at age eighteen, they aren't hobbits though.  
  
"Wake up!" Lidfoul woke with a start. She was a small creature with an ill favored look. Large green eyes and a small crooked mouth were the only distinguishable features on her face. Many times, people laughed at her 'queer' looks. They would openly disgrace her, and they spat on her maliciously. Lidfoul was of a rather royal background, but since she was so unattractive, she was not treated like it. "What?." She looked to see who was speaking. It was her father, Bulain of the Drintuh Kingdom. "Your sister's birthday is today, you must be prepared for the feast!" Oh yes, she had forgotten. Today her sister, Witherfil, would turn eighteen. That meant she would choose a groom, and then the two would be married at nightfall. "Yes father." That was all she said. He smiled and said, " Dear child, why are you not happy for your sister? Today is a big day for her."  
  
"I know, father, but it's just that I...I.." she broke off and turned towards the window. (a/n: u gotta love the drama) "I know what you mean," her father's eyes were sad. "in two years you will be wed." Suddenly she became angry. "Who would want to marry me? You see how ugly I am!" Tears flowed freely down what we think to be her cheeks. "You are not ug." She didn't even hear the rest of the sentence, for she ran out of the door and into the gardens somewhere. Lidfoul ran to her secret hiding spot in the garden and sat there to cry. Two hours later everyone had given up on finding her. She sat there not knowing what to do next. Then, all of sudden, she made her decision. She decided to run away. Lidfoul was angry at everyone. They never ceased to make fun of her, and she was fed up with it. What could she do about being ugly? It wasn't her fault.. As she ran, she tired quickly and decided to stop at the river to get a drink of water. --------------*--------------------------*----------------------*----------- --- "We are gonna catch us some fishes!" Gollum crawled out of his cave. He squinted slightly at the sunlight, but made his way to the river.. ------------*------------------*-----------------------*-------------------- -  
  
"Who cares about them anyways?" Lidfoul was thinking to herself. She wasn't mad at her sisters for being prettier than she was. No, that wasn't their fault either. What made Lidfoul so angry was the fact that EVERYONE was always either making fun of her for being so "different". Quite frankly she was just fed up with people judging her for her appearance. As she reached the river, she knelt down to get a drink. She sat there sat huddled on the rocks, and her attention was caught by a sound at the opposite side of the river. Thinking it might not be good to be seen by whatever it was, she hid behind some bigger rocks hoping the oncoming stranger wouldn't see her. Gollum jumped into the shallow end of the river. He immediately started hunting for fish and singing his usual songs. After only a few minutes he caught a good-sized fish. Gollum ate it greedily, when suddenly, he heard something move on the other side of the river. -------------*---------------------*--------------------------*------------- ----- "We can't have the ceremony without her!" Witherfil was whining. She had always been pretty close to her sister, Lidfoul, and didn't care about how she looked. All she wanted was her sister to be there at her most important day of her life. Witherfil knew she would be married at nightfall, to Rethuil, if her sister was there or not. However, she longed for her to take part in the 'ceremony'. "It's not like it's a big loss or anything..I mean LOOK at her! She would scare half the guests away with that ugly face!!" One of the servants, who was always mocking Lidfoul, was commenting rudely about her again. "Would you do me a favor? Just ONCE in your life, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Witherfil was also getting fed up with the whole mocking, "who do YOU think you are to insult MY SISTER in such a way?" "Sorry..Sorry. I didn't know it bothered ye that much." The servant looked taken aback. She had never thought that anyone actually cared for that miserable little creature. But apparently.somebody did. ----------------*----------------*----------------*-----------------------*- ------ As Lidfoul sat listening to Gollum's little fishing song, she thought it wasn't possible that he was evil (a/n yes evil, so evil, evaaaaaaaal,lol). She decided to take a peek to see who it was. When she laid her eyes on him, she fell in love with him right then and there. He didn't see her, so she just kept staring at his 'handsome' features. How she loved those sexy little strands of wire (his hair), and the beautiful frown he wore. Lidfoul found him so hot, she let a smile curl up on her..uh..face. A sudden impulse caused her to get up onto the rock. She wanted Gollum to see her. At the very moment when she got up on the rock, the sun shifted and it was at such an angle that her whole body was illuminated. When Smeagol looked up, all he could see was a figure standing there. He couldn't see her face (a/n that's a good thing) but knew it was a woman by the shape of her body. In his mind Gollum thought about how beautiful the 'person' looked, until he saw her. When he saw her he shrieked with joy. The person he was looking at was the most GORGEOUS thing he had EVER looked at. (a/n almost as pretty as his ex Frodo, im jk lol) Gollum was thinking Oolala, my preciousssssssss. (a/n bad gollum..bad gollum.lol) 


	2. Chapter 2

(a/n: There is a change in authors here. The original author has decided to pass the story on to me, so now I'M in charge! Bwahahahaha..)  
  
Slowly, Gollum approached this beauty. Lidfoul watched nervously-she didn't know what to do. After her first instinct of letting him see her, her good sense wasn't giving her any advice that she was that thrilled to take. She was standing maybe 2 feet above him, and when he reached her rock they spent a long moment in silence, just staring into each other's eyes. Lidfoul was shaking. "You're preeeeeetty," said Gollum after a moment. Lidfoul just stared at him, unmoving, and said nothing. Slowly, he scrambled up onto the rock and stood next to her. Her arms lay limply at her sides, and Gollum's hand slid around her waist to her back. Her hips mover toward hers, her mouth opened slightly in anticipation, her eyes questioning. (a/n: anybody seen Moulin Rouge?) Tentatively, Gollum leaned forward, and kissed her lightly. He pulled away, and stared deeply into her eyes. Well, she didn't seem to be resisting, but he resisted another kiss nonetheless. Suddenly she moved and kissed him, harder, and with undefined passion. Her arms circled his chest, and he held her just as tight. A long whiles later, they pulled apart. The sun was down. "My name is Gollum." He said to her. "I'm Lidfoul." Turning, she looked at the sky. "Oh no! Witherfil's wedding!" She kissed him once more, and began to run toward her village. ] "No, wait!" Cried Gollum. "I must see you again!" (a/n: ah, the cliché of it all.) "I'll be here tomorrow morning at dawn!" Called Lidfoul over her shoulder, and disappeared.  
  
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Witherfil stood on the stage, breathing heavily. Now was the moment when she chose her husband. Oh, how she wished Lidfoul was here to see her choice! She stared at the see of young, male faces, and searched for the one who she would spend her life with. She had not yet made her choice: she had planned to gossip with Lidfoul before the ceremony, and discover, from Lidfoul, of course (she wasn't allowed to be seen until this very moment), who was best dressed, and looked most handsome for this occasion. Of course, the men who did not want to be chosen dressed poorly, and those truly interested dressed very well. For Witherfil's wedding, nearly all of them were dressed the best they could. She stood there a very long moment. The crowd at her feet began to pace nervously. (a/n: hmm. I wonder what's going to happen now..what a dead end!) Quiet murmurs rose up. Suddenly, at the corner of her vision, Witherfil saw her sister, Lidfoul. Lidfoul seemed to be tired, and very much in shock. Just seeing Lidfoul brought Witherfil back to the moment. Of course, she knew who she would choose. She had known ever since she was 14, as most girls know. She hadn't let him know, of course, but there he was, right in the front row by the stage, dressed in a plaid tuxedo with the most hopeful look on his face. She smiled at him. "Rethuil." She said. "You shall be my husband." The crowd roared, even those males who had not been chosen. Their happiness for their comrade Rethuil was unfailing. Rethuil was raised to the stage, and it was there that the bride was to engage in her first kiss, and the groom his. Shyly, they complied.  
  
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Watching the scene from the outskirts of the crowd, Lidfoul winced. She had run away. She had nearly missed her sister's wedding, and she had broken one of the sacred rituals, that she was not to kiss. Surely her parents would be furious if they knew.If they knew. There it was, then, she could not tell them. She would tell them.she would tell them that she had run to the next village, and met an old woman who needed her help. And each day, she would go visit the woman, and help her in her old age. (a/n: oh, yeah, like that's going to work!) Surely her parents would approve. Smiling now, Lidfoul returned to the village. For once, she ignored the nasty looks that people only bestowed upon those who are utterly grotesque. Lidfoul was happy, for Lidfoul was in love.  
  
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After Witherfil and Rethuil left to consummate their marriage, Lidfoul went to her parents. "Mother, Father," she said, bowing her head slightly. "Today I traveled to the next village over in foolishness. While there, I met a woman, very old, with no family left. Her children and husband are dead, and none of the villagers care for her. She can not see, so she does not hate my appearance. She has asked that I care for her. She can not pay me, but I ask you if I may take this task, and perhaps no longer engage in such foolishness as I did today." Her parents looked at each other. Finally, her mother spoke. "Lidfoul, today you ran away in haste. I will allow you to take this task, but you must go every day until you are married, except those days when you are needed in the village. This is your punishment." Lidfoul could hardly contain her joy. This was perfect! Exactly what she had wished for! She kept her sober appearance however, and her head stayed down. "Yes mother, father." She then curtseyed, and left the room.  
  
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Lidfoul and Gollum got to know each other better and better. Lidfoul knew all about his adventures with Frodo and the ring, and Gollum knew all about her past as well. She didn't care that he was old, much older than she. In truth, he was very much her age. And, she knew that with time and love, he would mature. Soon, Lidfoul stopped caring that she was breaking the rules. She left very early in the morning, and returned long after dusk. She spent the long days with Gollum, her love, and enjoyed them more than she had anything in her life. She wasn't even a part of her village anymore; they seemed to forget that she existed. After a while, her mother even stopped giving her chores at home, and just sent her off to the "old woman." Well, that was before it all happened. Lidfoul knew right away. There was no way she couldn't, all women do, you know. She frantically thought for something to tell her parents, something to tell Gollum. Instead, she kept her silence. Finally, though, she knew that she must tell them. She staged it perfectly. Sobbing broke the peace of the night. Lidfoul's mother rose from her chair, she had been very nervous about her daughter, for it was a much delayed time for her to return. At the hysterical sobs, she rushed to the source of the crying. There, indeed was Lidfoul. Hushing her, her mother took the poor thing into her arms and assisted her to the house. She looked horrible. Her clothes were torn and muddy, there were even scratches on her arms and legs. She curled up in a small ball on the sofa, and faced away from her mother, ashamed. "He, he, he, he raped me." She whispered quietly. "He pulled me down and raped me." Her mother was shocked. Her daughter! And, especially, Lidfoul. She was no pretty thing, why would anybody rape her? But then, Lidfoul's family were perhaps the only in the village who would care for the poor beast. Nobody else would seek vengeance, and surely nobody would care for her babes. The two women sat on the sofa, rocking, and no sound was heard except the sobs and the shhs. (a/n: Lidfoul is a GOOD actor, yes?)  
  
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Even though Lidfoul grew larger and larger, she insisted she travel to assist the old woman. Gollum was delighted. A child! His own child. He did all he could to help her, and then some. Lidfoul, blossoming in his love, and he in hers, could not have had a better helper. Of course, her mother insisted that she return by noon each day, but even the few hours with Gollum were lovely. When the twins were born, Lidfoul insisted that she take them to show the old woman, and that the old woman, to whom she had grown so close, help name them. It was then that Gollum named his babes, both female, one being Mooneyes and one being Precious. (a/n: sorry, I had to do it!) Upon returning, Lidfoul told of the response the old woman had to the children, and how she believed it to be a good idea to bring them every day. After all, who else would care for them? And so life progressed for two year. But then came the day when Lidfoul was to turn 18, and she did not know what she was to do.  
  
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The day before the wedding, Lidfoul sadly left the village with Mooneyes and Precious to make her final farewells to the old woman. Mooneyes and Precious, of course, had been instructed from very early on that they were not to tell any of what they did during the day..or what mommy and daddy did during the day. (a/n: *sigh* ah, I'm so lovesick.) They were 14 months old now, and were just learning to talk. Lidfoul made sure that they stayed up very late, and that they left the village very early so that they had no chance to tell anybody what they spent their days doing. On this day, though, Lidfoul even allowed a small tear to trickle down her face as she packed to go to the old woman's side. Surely someone else would take care of her. Even once they were out of sight of the village, Lidfoul did not perk up. What would she do? How would she see Gollum once they were married? Surely nobody would be well dressed for her wedding, who would she wed? She was so ugly, nobody except Gollum could love her. And she wished to love nobody but Gollum. Deep down inside, she had hope. The night before, Witherfil had said to her; "Lidfoul, who will you marry? You know that I had been interested in Rethuil for a very long time, but you never had interest for anybody from this village. And your being gone for the past two years has not helped, and the twins do not exactly peak interest! Who will you marry?" Lidfoul thought fast. "There is only one man who I love. He is from the other village, he brings the old woman and I lunch. His name is Gollum." "Gollum," said Witherfil. "That's an odd name. Well, I suppose you could marry someone from another village," Lidfoul's heart rose ".but only if mother and father approved. I do hope he is respectable. Oh well, time to bed. Rethuil is waiting for me." She smiled, and left. This was all the hope that Lidfoul had as she trudged to her and Gollum's meeting place, possibly for the last time. Surely, today must be special. Very, very special. (a/n: Teehee, I sense another child coming.)  
  
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Lidfoul stood on the edge of the stage just as Witherfil had two years ago. Yet Lidfoul was not nervous, as Witherfil had been. She was heartbroken. Nobody, not one person, had dressed well for her wedding. All the men shifted nervously, looking down, saying nothing. Lidfoul let loose a sob, and collapsed into a ball on the stage. Witherfil looked as if she wanted to go to her, but no. This was Lidfoul's decision. Even if the men dressed down, they could still be chosen. Lidfoul had only to choose. It was there, broken, sobbing, that Lidfoul saw a flash of green at the corner of her eye. She immediately stifled her sobs, and hurried to her feet. Yes! There was Gollum, in a green tuxedo. He looked lovely, so beautiful. Lidfoul's sobs turned into laughter, a smile brightened her otherwise ugly face. Gollum, there, looked up at her, beaming with happiness. "You! Gollum, I choose you, oh, Gollum!" All eyes turned to him, and Lidfoul nervously watched her parents' reactions. Yes, there was relief. Relief that there was a creature as ugly as Lidfoul here now, and that they would marry. Gollum knew what to do, Lidfoul had told him of the other weddings she had been to. He was lifted to the stage, and they pretended apprehension as they kissed. They were wed within the hour, and left to their new hut, married, and happier than ever before. Nine months later Lidfoul bore a girl, named Erihue. Nine months after that, Lidfoul bore a girl who they dubbed Windlove, then another girl, Karlin. Witherfil remained childless, and questions were raised. They all lived in Drintuh, somewhat at peace. (a/n: Somewhat would be the key word there.)  
  
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"It'ssss hooooot! It'sssss hoooooot!!!!!!" Gollum moaned. He and Rethuil were working on the roof of the barn, replacing the thatch, which had begun to leak in the storm last week. "Stop whining you brute," said Rethuil. Gollum did not mind these names, he was used to it. Instead, he insisted in getting back his own. "You meanssss, naaassssty man!" He countered. "No children of yoursssss, I sseeesss running downsss theresss." He pointed, and indeed, there were his 6 children (though only four were known to be his), and pregnant wife. Precious and Mooneyes were 5 now, Erihue was 3, Windlove was 2, Karlin was 1 ½, and Gollum, their baby boy, was only 8 months old. Lidfoul was nursing Gollum, even though she was close to birthing another child herself, and the other children were playing with the stones. None of them were quite pretty, and Gollum Sr. and Lidfoul were the most atrocious people in the town. To Gollum, they made a gorgeous family. "Oh, yes, you and that monster bride of yours keep producing child after child like there's no tomorrow! If I were her, not only would I be sick of looking at your ugly face, I'd be sick of looking at my own!" Gollum Jr. finished nursing, and Lidfoul picked up her children and led them inside to wash their hands for lunch. "You bastard, she must be the ugliest thing in the world! And you're second to her!" Gollum could handle the rude comments about himself, but once they turned to Lidfoul he grew angry. "Yousss..yous..oh!" Gollum swung his fist, and hit Rethuil square on the jaw. Just this amount of force was enough to upset his balance. Rethuil's feet slipped on the straw he was standing on, and slid down the roof, grasping for a handhold. Finding none, he slipped, and fell to the ground. (a/n: that's gotta hurt.) Witherfil must have been looking out her window at that particular moment, for she ran out of the cottage and to his side. Gasping, tears streamed down her face. "He's dead." She whispered, and looked up at Gollum. A crowd began to gather, and all were murmuring, and staring up at Gollum, still standing on the roof, shocked. Lidfoul came out of their cottage, took one look at the mob, and shouted up to Gollum. "Come inside, love," she said, ignoring the hubbub of the crowd. "Lunch is ready." Gollum climbed down the ladder, and silently entered the cottage with his wife.  
  
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It wasn't until later that night that they heard from anybody again. The 8 of them just stayed in their cottage. That was when Lidfoul's mother and father came to pay them a visit. Lidfoul graciously allowed them in, sat them down, and offered them drinks. They declined, all the while pointedly ignoring Gollum. "Lidfoul, love, you must be aware that your brother-in-law, Rethuil, passed away this afternoon." Lidfoul nodded sadly at her mother's words. "Witherfil is devastated. Not only did she love Rethuil very much, but she has no children. She does not know what to do." Lidfoul, of course, could not answer. She didn't have the answer; she didn't know anybody who would. Now, the only question was what would happen to Gollum. "I'm sorry, Lidfoul." Father said. "Gollum has been banished." Yes, this is what Lidfoul had expected. Gollum, though started at the side of the cottage. He looked at her in protest, but she did not look back at him. "I understand, father." "He will be expected to be gone by morning." "Yes, father." Her mother stood and kissed her forehead. "You always have been strong, Lidfoul. Do not fear. Witherfil will go on without Rethuil, just as you will go on without Gollum." Lidfoul ignored her mother's remark, and turned to Gollum. "All right, Gollum. It's time we started packing. We must leave nothing, especially not the silverware. We will need it all." Her parents were shocked. "But, Lidfoul, only Gollum must go, you may stay here with the children!" Lidfoul stood, and faced her parents. "Mother, father, I will follow my husband to the end of the world. I will not abandon him to a lonely fate." They stared at her. "Now, if you will excuse us, there is much to be done." She turned, and began to pack her belongings into a bag Gollum had pulled out of the closet. Her parents silently took their leave.  
  
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End file.
